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Nothing watches the laptops' cell temperature or their runtime on battery: the fit measured each once #532

Description

@Gerrrt

Two gaps replace-the-laptop-cell.md names and nothing tracks

Runtime on battery. The runbook's step 8 produces one number: how long prometheus runs with mains pulled, at one load, on one day. "There is no rule and no series that would notice it halving." The mains-cut path the whole exercise protects is measured once and never again.

Cell temperature. node_power_supply_temp_celsius for prometheus's BAT0 ran 32.7–39.2 °C over the 24 hours to 2026-09-17, and the runbook writes the band down "so a reading far above that band has something to be far above" — and then: "nothing alerts on it and nothing watches it." The failure mode #454 opens with is a swollen thirteen-year-old cell on a shelf, and it is the one failure mode here with no signal at all.

What to build

  • A rule on node_power_supply_temp_celsius for the two laptops, thresholded above the recorded band with margin, severity: critical — a hot cell is the one alert here that should wake someone. Unit-tested.
  • For runtime: either a rule on the discharge rate while HostOnBattery is firing (deriv() of charge_now gives minutes remaining without waiting for zero), or a written decision that the annual step-8 measurement is enough. The second is defensible; it should be written down in host.rules.yaml's header if taken.
  • Both laptops. oracle's cell measures worse and has the same series.

Done when

promtool test rules covers the temperature rule for both hosts, and the runtime question has either a rule or a sentence.

Refs #454, #519.

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